When visiting with them over the holidays, perhaps you saw them struggle with a living situation that used to be so easy for them. You might have thought “At least it’s familiar and comforting for now” but the writing is on the wall— your folks can’t stay in that big old house forever. But if they do, now could be the time to help them set up a network of “helpers”.
Things like stairs, landscaping and snow removal can be taxing and sometimes dangerous for those in their later years. Sometimes it can feel like a home is full of memories but when it comes right down to it, a house is a thing, while memories reside in our heads and hearts.
It can be a good idea to draw out a “Ben Franklin” with your parents, listing the advantages and disadvantages of staying/moving. They might appreciate such an honest demonstration of your love and concern. If they decide to stay for now, you could offer to help them put together a list of service providers to see to their health and “keep dad off the ladder”. Ask around to interview in-home health care providers so they don’t need to scramble to find a good one if somebody breaks a hip or worse. Having to check into a care facility can often be just as costly. Interview contractors and if a handyman is chosen, make sure they are licensed, bonded and insured. If not, the homeowners insurance policy might not protect your parents in the event of an accident.
If it’s time to explore a move, your first step should be a Comparative Market Analysis of their house— something I’m happy to provide for free when a move is being considered. I can help soften the blow of a move which might at first look like a large undertaking and upheaval. Many are surprised by the amenities and freedoms afforded by some of our retirement communities that provide active and fun living for seniors.
Lastly, keep things light, fun, and above all, don’t push.
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